.....And I can't scream it with them.

Here I am standing on the bleachers and the crowd is yelling AIR BALL AIR BALL AIR BALL AIR BALL and TWO FACE TWO FACE TWO FACE TWO FACE and I can't scream it with them. I picture that kids face in my head as he walks back to the bench held low and droplets climbing out of the corner of his eyes and I can't scream at him. "It's just sports game". But he's not just a basketball player. He's not just a basketball player.


What kind of high school student am I?


I'm not supposed to care about the other teams feelings.


I'm not supposed to care about hearts and emotions.


I should care about that twitter page designed by a bully.


I should gossip about her messy hair and beat up sweats.


I should judge, judge, judge.




But, I feel so guilty every time I do.


I care so much about peoples feelings.


The more I write the more I see the real me.


I'm me. I'm so me.


I think I'm pretty cute and I get really mad when girls think they can't say that about themselves.


I don't put up with mean people.


I like how much I weigh and I'm almost way to comfortable alone.


I get so mad over bullying.


I think you would too if almost everyday of your childhood was spent cheering up your sister because someone made fun of her weight again.


Because when someone is having a hard day I think back to hugging my sister and telling her how beautiful she is and asking God why it was her and not me.


So here I am on the bleachers and I can't scream.


Because he's not just a basketball player and she's more than her weight.


So forgive me Michelle Obama. I don't think obesity is the biggest problem in America.

I don't think wheat noodles and Kale chips can make my sisters tears stop.


So before you judge another person think beyond them please.


There is something amazing about everyone and it's your choice whether you see that part of them.

Film Festivities.

I'm pretending to be a photo journalist today.

17 ---> 18

17 is ticking down and 18 is going to stick to me whether I want it or not.


For now I will just take you one step at a time and hope you stick to me like 18 already has.


Because you scare me more than anyone else and I'm not quite sure how to handle my heart.


I hope you find me on soon.


We'll boil our pasts away and use our magic beans for something more.

Paper Towns

Paper Towns

by, John Green

Quotes

“It was nice - in the dark and the quiet... and her eyes looking back, like there was something in me worth seeing.”  


“That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfeast cereals based on color instead of taste.”  


“What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.”  


“I know it's impossible for you to see your peers this way, but when you're older, you start to see them--the bad kids and the good kids and all kids--as people. They're just people, who deserve to be cared for.”  

This is Me

I obsess over the weirdest things.


I have a hard time with letting people help me.


I'm insecure about my bed head and eye brows.


I love sports and my favorite color is pink.


I love nature and wild flowers.


I think I'm independent.


Sometimes I wish I wasn't so practical.


My mom tells me I pay attention to the smallest details.


I eat a lot of junk food.


I deleted instagram and twitter off my phone two weeks ago.


I'm really weird.


I'm very opinionated and I think I might be scared of germs.


I'm Megan Solomon.

Memories

I remember driving my grandpas golf cart into the bar-b-que filled with our steak dinner that night.


I remember my kindergarten teacher who taught me how to paint and create when I was just 5 years old.


I remember my old grandma I mean she's still alive but I miss the old her you know.


I remember my brother running into my room after his first kiss and turning on my bedroom light and flickering it until I cracked enough emotion for him to vent a little.


I remember riding my bike to the colorful painted states alone and crying on the swing set when you  left.


I remember my daddies old pick up truck and how proud he was of it.


I remember watching my brother paint again after two years and crying because he couldn't anymore.


I remember when I ate every dinner on my tramp because I could not stop bouncing around.


I remember the day I attempted to paint my trampoline pink with one bottle of nail polish.


I remember throwing catch after school everyday with my older brother.


I remember our old dodge ball team.


I remember the sweet taste of big league chew that you would share with me on road trips.


I remember my doggie Lily and how I never got to say my last goodbye.

My main goal for the week